i didn't have work today. it was a glorious day.
but then i started thinking. like i always do.
why am i stuck?
it's so depressing. am i always going to be alone?
stevie told me to watch this first date movie, and it sounds really cute, but i don't want to watch it because i know it will make me cry.
i told myself, you got over scott junior year of highschool. that sucked and it was basically the same situation. look at yourself now! and then i thought more about it...
when i first met scott i found him kind of annoying and he was short. i definitely didn't have a crush on him. the next day my friend comes up to me and said "omg scott told jason you're cute".
and that was the fucking beginning of the end.
i developed this insane crush that actually seemed to be going in my favor. he bought me gummy peach os that i didn't eat because i wanted to save them forever. he used to call me and sing yellowcard songs to me that he'd play on his guitar.
he told jason he was going to ask me to homecoming. i was so excited.
then one day he starts being a huge bitch to me on aim. oh wait it wasn't him, it was just his ex girlfriend at his house on his sn. he went to homecoming with her instead.
around christmas break when he calls me to hang out of course i say yes, duh.
he ends up running over my friend's leg in his car. it sucked. we had to go to the hospital and court and stuff. that scared him away.
but not for long. he still had to hurt me again...
this time closer to turnabout. i remember because we started hanging out and then he took jason's girlfriend's twin sister to turnabout.
and
i
still
wasn't
over
it
i saw him around a few times. we'd talk and it'd always cause me to be hopelessly in love again. i even drunkenly fb chatted him after breaking up with kenny.
so
telling myself that -this one, i'll get over, it'll be fine! is just really freaking hard to say
because i know it won't be. i know it. because i know how i am.
we are perfect for each other so it really pisses me off. not me and scott. but me and the one from this year. well technically a few years ago. maybe one year after scott.
that's my day.
