metal by bbsnkz featuring Forever21

But now we speak with ruined tongues
And the words we say aren’t meant for anyone.
It’s just a mumbled sentence to
A passing acquaintance,
But there was once you.
You said you hate my suffering, and you understood,
And you’d take care of me.
You'd always be there.
Well, where are you now?

i hate this blog. why did i make it?

some guy from my work got an entire pitcher of pop spilled on his head today at red lobster.

sometimes i feel like i am sixteen.

pad thai with tofu

i got dinner with one of my besties, barbie tonight. we talked about moving in together. it was exciting to talk about our dream apartment. we decided moving out of our parents' houses is our 2010 goal. it really isn't a problem for me, i just moved back home. i have money saved and i can move out whenever, i am just waiting for a roommate. it's a bigger deal for her because she has a lot of bills and her parents are really trying to hold her back. i hope this happens. we will have so much fun cooking vegetarian meals for each other!

boyfriend

that's my boyfriend on the right.
just kidding. i wish. i am obsessed with johnny whitney lately because i started listening to the new jaguar love cd and i can't stop.
they are playing a show at reggies in april. im hoping i can get my friend to go. it's on a monday though. oh well, that means there would be less people there. so me and johnny could meet and fall in love over drinks in the dirty bar. the last time i went to reggies i wasn't sure whether i was going to get stabbed or shot first.
here's a video

sunday

just laying here with lady dog dog.

i made that pie today. it was a lot of work, but it turned out really well. it tastes like pecan pie without the pecans.

im sad the weekend is already over. i had a pretty crazy night on friday. i drank a lot and exchanged underwear with a guy on a dare. guys were playing old songs i listened to in highschool on guitars and i was singing along. we had to hide out in the apartment at 430 because the cops were pounding on the door to get in.

still dont know how i feel. well. i do know that i like being single and having fun. im all about the fun right now since i've spent so much of my life in long long too long relationships.

great.

i feel like im suffocating. and i am definitely panicking. he likes me too much already and it's freaking me out. i am not really sure how to handle the situation. don't even want to talk about it anymore. i really hope im not turning into one of those girls that purposely ruins relationships.

yesterday someone at my work won a free tasting at noodles & co. it was so much fun. they let us pick a salad and four pastas for all 5 of us to share. they served it family style so we could try everything. they even brought out a big plate of cookies and rice krispy treats at the end.

i never really cared about tomatoes that much but the past 2 weeks or so i have been craving them like crazy. i just searched it on google and i might have iron deficiency anemia. being a vegetarian has been so annoying lately. i am sick of making my own dinner every night. last night i just made tater tots with lots of ketchup. the night before i had a lean cuisine. with that noodles tasting everyone had to get their meat on the side. i hate having people do special stuff for me. and i probably need so many vitamins right now.

i have been doing too much after work this week. i am exhausted. tonight i would like nothing more than to just sleep and sleep and sleep. that's not the plan though.

It's only wednesday.

i found the recipe for this amazing looking pie here.

i think i am going to make it this weekend. last sunday was my dad's birthday and the cupcakes my sister and i made didn't turn out that great. they were from a box and the cream cheese flavored frosting tasted a little chalky. i think this pie will make up for the crappy cupcakes.

im looking forward to tonight. i am planning on going to the gym after work and then eating some cabbage my mom is making for St. Patrick's day. hopefully i have the will power to go to bed early tonight instead of going out to drink a lot of green beer. i stayed out pretty late last night watching skins so i need my beauty rest.

oh wow.

i have been watching so many episodes of Skins the past couple of days that my subconscious is developing a british accent.

i have been extremely lazy today. but i enjoyed laying around in my underwear all afternoon. i needed to sleep off my awful hangover after my lovely night. seeing all my friends was really great. before my sister and i went out we messed around on chat roulette for a while. we started drinking modelos and before i knew it i was already pretty much past my limit at the bar. i was having too much fun and too many boys were buying me shots. i was disappointed that i got so drunk. i really wanted to kiss him more than just bye. and i really hope i didnt make an idiot of myself. well i guess i didn't mess up too bad because we are hanging out again on tuesday.

it seems so strange that boys choose me.

new

it's amazing how easily we let people get under our skin. once you let them in they stay, they become a part of you. when you love someone it is all the more scary. they can change you. they do change you.

i tell everyone i am doing what i want. but i don't know what i want. do i want a boyfriend? i am not sure. i like kissing boys. i like having them hold me and make me feel safe and warm. i like the attention. and i like feeling giggly and happy and pretty. but i dont like the obligations. i don't like the feeling of guilt when i blow off my friends because i'd rather lay in bed and watch movies and hold hands and kiss.

this boy hasn't consumed me yet. but maybe i want him to? this boy i know nothing about. the boy who wants to take me bike riding on lakeshore drive after our first date.

this is the year i can finally learn what i want. and make mistakes and take chances.