alright

im back to feeling like myself. what a relief. now i need to start working on doing things that will be beneficial to my happiness. i have been so lazy the past two weeks. going to the store was the biggest inconvenience. when i'd weigh the option of driving to jewel and then cooking a dinner versus icecream and going to bed early, the icecream option always won out. i just had absolutely no energy for anything. i guess that's probably how people with depression feel. i'm really glad to be out of that funk. now it's time to get back in shape and accomplish some projects ive been wanting to work on. work is a total downer and it's only going to get worse for valentine's day, but it's not the end of the world. i have a four day weekend after valentine's day to look forward to.

i went with barbie to get her neck pierced tonight. she said it hurt really bad when he was putting it in because it was dragging along the inside of her skin. i couldn't really watch the whole time because it looked so painful. but it looked really cute when it was done.
tomorrow my plan is to eat an amazing breakfast with stevie and patrick. we are having waffles, omelets, hash browns and english muffins. then we are going to watch blue valentine. after that i'll take charlee on a long walk. im looking forward to a lazy sunday before my work nightmare begins.

dear diary.

(via)

so really it's just that i don't like guys who like me.
i made out with a dude last saturday but since he seemed interested in me i felt nothing for him. ignored his calls and texts. said maybe to plans i knew i wouldnt keep.
but im obsessed over the one guy i know i shouldn't be. the guy who doesnt seem interested in me at all anymore.
does life just always have to be tragic or am i sabotaging potential relationships before they start? do i want to be alone and upset all the time? im pretty fucking sure i dont. i would just love to know how i messed up the one i cared about. but i guess life would be too good if something worked out for once. life needs to keep me miserable so i dont accomplish anything. if i was happy i could do so much shit. like have energy to do my laundry or something.
you know that feeling when you're getting into the car and you slam you head on the door frame? it's just one degree too fucking painful. you feel overwhelmed with hurt and self pity. that's what my heart has felt like for the past two weeks. i know im doing it all to myself. i probably just made up this whole thing in my head.
anyway, goodnight.

doggies

stevie brought jenny over to hang out with charlee. jenny is like 4 times the size of charlee. it's pretty cute how charlee runs around and tries to get jenny to play with her.
matt's bday party is on friday. all you can drink for $25. it's a really good deal and im probably going to get way too drunk. jackie's birthday party is on saturday. that will be fun too. john's throwing her a surprise party in a hotel room. i bet she will really like that.
i have to find some time this week to finish matt's present and then go get jackies. i wish i had an idea for something really good to get her. i always buy her nice make up, but that seems so generic. oh well i don't have any other ideas.
im going to be so exhausted and double hung over on sunday i can't wait.

relaxing sunday

(via)

i had a productive day today. i woke up with a migraine and figured the day would be shit, but after i took my prescription migraine medicine i felt pretty good within an hour. i hung out at my parents house today. i made chocolate chip cookies with my mom and then played super nintendo for a while with my sister. i finally gave my dad the louis ck dvd i forgot to give him on christmas day. my mom makes these things called cheesy rice roll ups which she made for dinner tonight. they sound and look so disgusting, but i love them. they are crepes filled with rice ( and ground beef which mine didnt have) and then they have some mixture poured over them that contains mushroom soup and cheese. then its cooked in the oven for a while. she gave me some to take home so i'm excited for lunch tomorrow already.
when i got home i just did some laundry, took charlee out a few hundred times and read. i'm reading this book, "Please Kill Me", the oral history of punk rock. it's a really interesting. i kind of want to read more now, so see ya.
oh one more thing- 2011 so far is pretty great.