having a whole week off work is more boring than it sounds. especially when none of my friends want to go out on weeknights. especially when one friend in particular isn't going out and bringing a certain someone. its really weird how upset this makes me, i didn't realize i would care so much. i haven't crushed this hard since highschool. it hurts the pit of my stomach. especially when im alone. i keep trying to do things anything to get my mind off it. i want to just forget it and stop saying stupid things to him on fb, to my friends in rl. this blog is such a middle school diary for me.
tonight im going to weber with a group of friends. it will be okay. we are dressing up and it will be pretty awkward im thinking. plus james' girlfriend seems to hate me right now. i dont know. i dont care.
i feel kind of depressed. i really hope this feeling wears off. nye is going to be such bullshit. no ones doing anything. i want 2011 to be better, and i guess doing nothing will be a better start to the new year than hanging around at some super lame party like i did for 2010. god 2010 has been such a suckfest.
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