i'm feeling really sorry for myself. i really don't know what more i can do to make a positive change. i have been spending a large portion of my free time apply for jobs and no one has called me. it's really discouraging when i'm trying so hard and i'm not happy in other aspects of my life. i know i will look back on being 25 and i will hopefully be happy that i'm not in that place anymore. i feel like i'm stuck in a box. i'm alone.
i have been optimistic for so long, that yeah things will eventually get better. but now i'm starting to wonder if things will just get worse. i have to imagine that i won't be alone for ever and that maybe my future will hold a job that is at least tolerable, but right now it seems hopeless. it's getting to the point where i can't wait for these things i want any longer.
i'm kind of worried for myself if i can't find a roommate when my lease is up in october. i'll be even more alone then. i'm really really tired up putting up the hopeful front. i just want to give up and never leave my bed. what is the point.
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