4th of july...

(via)

I can't believe some people are just so selfish. it sickens me.
I have been watching That 70s Show a lot lately. Jackie's character is funny because she's so self absorbed it's ridiculous. i really can't believe that those type of people exist. and i can't believe that i've been so blind to not realize that i've been friends with jackie the past few years.

Lucas and Michelle want me to go on their friend's boat with them tomorow. i am just in a terrible mood and i want to stay home. i dont want to spread my awful mood around, like some people.

I wish i could just redo this holiday. yesterday was the best day of the weekend because i stayed home. I shouldn't have let her ruin this day. it was great seeing my family and overall it was a good day. things could always be worse, i guess i should just put this in perspective. i hate negativity and i guess her chipping away has finally brought me to this point.

i just have to deal. i just wish i had something that made me really happy. something needs to change and i'm in charge of making that happen. i will start doing things that make me happy, starting tomorrow. exercise, reading, job searching, playing with charlee, watching more that 70s show, seeing my family, watching the fireworks if i feel like it, these are all things that make me happy. i need to be a little more selfish sometimes and stop trying to make everyone else happy for a change. this is my life. i only get one shot.