huge updates

so much has happened in the past week! i got the job! i put in my two weeks notice at FTD. i also signed a lease for an apartment in downtown AH. i feel like i havent stopped smiling this whole week. my friends have been awesome lately too. i just couldn't be any happier with all these new changes! this is what i've been aching for over the past months. i knew it would happen. & it did! everything's falling into place for me.

i also found out that the one guy liked me too. although it doesn't really change much since he won't hang out with me bc his friends don't like me. it's bs but i can't let one stupid thing get me down when i have so much amazingness going on in my life. september is going to be a great month for me.

finally

(via)

a long standing "friendship" that was only hindering my happiness ended on friday. instead of being sad and regretful about 10 years going down the drain, i actually feel a great weight lifted off me. the end was a long time coming. i have the opportunity to counter attack, but i choose to keep silent. i don't want to per-long the ending. i just want it over.
she was probably the utmost selfish and negative person i've ever met who literally cannot function in the real world. these are things i dont need in my life. i feel that i'm growing older and i have much more mature friends (who talk about pooing out the black piece on the bottom of a banana skin). ok my other friends aren't necessarily more mature, but they make me happy and i love them. why wouldn't i surround myself with people who make me a better person and care about me and are true friends with good souls?

4th of july...

(via)

I can't believe some people are just so selfish. it sickens me.
I have been watching That 70s Show a lot lately. Jackie's character is funny because she's so self absorbed it's ridiculous. i really can't believe that those type of people exist. and i can't believe that i've been so blind to not realize that i've been friends with jackie the past few years.

Lucas and Michelle want me to go on their friend's boat with them tomorow. i am just in a terrible mood and i want to stay home. i dont want to spread my awful mood around, like some people.

I wish i could just redo this holiday. yesterday was the best day of the weekend because i stayed home. I shouldn't have let her ruin this day. it was great seeing my family and overall it was a good day. things could always be worse, i guess i should just put this in perspective. i hate negativity and i guess her chipping away has finally brought me to this point.

i just have to deal. i just wish i had something that made me really happy. something needs to change and i'm in charge of making that happen. i will start doing things that make me happy, starting tomorrow. exercise, reading, job searching, playing with charlee, watching more that 70s show, seeing my family, watching the fireworks if i feel like it, these are all things that make me happy. i need to be a little more selfish sometimes and stop trying to make everyone else happy for a change. this is my life. i only get one shot.

weekend

this weekend was really fun. i'm sad that it's already over. i spent a lot of time with my friends and family.
on friday stevie and i went to Honey for dinner. it's a cute little cafe in glen ellyn. they have a lot of vegetarian options on their menu and they use locally grown produce. i was going to take a picture while we were there but i forgot.
on saturday i took charlee to the groomer and spent the rest of the day hanging out with my parents. i helped my mom make an amazing vegetarian dinner - stuffed poblano peppers and mushroom wellington. yum! (picture above)
at night i went out to a bar with jackie and some new friends. on my way there i kept getting lost and it was putting me in the worst mood. i even thought about turning around and just going home. but i knew it would disappoint jacq & i did want to see her. as soon as i got there and said hi to everyone i ordered vegas bombs for me and jackie. after that everything was uphill. we danced and talked all night. it was so much fun. we even went up on the stage and danced.
this morning i woke up to a pretty bad hangover. i ended up laying in bed until around 430pm. at night i went over to michelle and lucas's new apartment. it is so cute i love it! lucas made us pierogies. so good. i had such a fun time just hanging out and watching the academy awards with them. i wish they lived closer :( i'm planning to go over there a lot in the summer to lay out at her pool. and i'll be coming over to watch true blood since they have HBO!
tomorrow i'm planning on having an extra productive day at work and then a big (much needed) workout at night. bed time!

alone in the city

I used to feel so alone in the city.
All those gazillions of people and
then me, on the outside. Because
how do you meet a new person?
I was very stumped by this for many
years. And then I realized, you just
say, Hi. They may ignore you. Or
you may marry them. And that
possibility is worth that one word.

- Augusten Burroughs

this is true. maybe i'll say hi to cute boys on saturday at VeganMania. maybe not. dont care.

This is a picture from our hotel room in Chesterton IN.

my shoes came in the mail! im really happy i got them.

i hung out with matt and james last night at Stadium. i miss them so much. ever since matt moved downtown i see them a lot less. and im sure that matt living with my ex bf is a huge part of that also. these are presents James gave me last night for my birthday. he made the wine with his grandpa. i had some tonight and it tastes amazing. but it brought on a wave of exhaustion.
here's a pic of james wishing he was a model.

and here's a dumb picture of matt. im too tired to search for a normal pic of either of them.